Pass the Tums, please!

We made our way back to the playground today, and this time Lois was most definitely awake and my camera battery was back where it belonged. Sometimes I forget that the butter bean is a petite little thing - but when I plopped her butt in that infant swing and she barely took up one quarter of the space, I remembered. She started out leaning back in the swing, but quickly figured out the view was much better if she sat up. Actually, Lois's small size has become a big issue this week.


When we visited the doctor when the snot fest began last week, I was shocked when they weighed Lois and she had gained only 5 ounces since our last visit. That's 5 ounces in 7 weeks. And that's not good. I used to be absolutely obsessed with Lois's weight gain - or lack thereof. When she came home from the NICU with a G-tube and no sucking ability, Jay and I were neurotic about exactly how much milk she was drinking, when she drank it, if she burped, and the holy grail - if she produced a poopie. We've come such a long way from those days. Or so I thought.

Yes, my girl isn't eating enough again. Can you believe that? I've got a kid who doesn't overeat? So much for genetics. I didn't get to see my regular pediatrician (who I want to build a shrine to) at that visit - and the doctor I did see was like 14 years old and dressed like a hot tranny mess. I'm not kidding. It's hard to take someone seriously when they've got giant red streaks in their hair, 5 inch red patent leather spiky heels, and are wearing a little black wrap dress. She didn't seem very concerned about Lois's lack of weight gain. In fact, she offered no suggestions on increasing caloric intake except to give her more milk. Thanks for that, Doctor Kildare. I'd have never come up with that idea on my own.

So. I am home from the doctor with irrefutable hard evidence that my bean isn't gaining weight. SO now I'm on a mission to make sure she's eating 24/7. But she's got a cold. Or allergies. Or something that's filling her head with mucus. And she's not interested in eating. It's hard to suck on a bottle when you can't breathe out of your nose. I mentioned how small Lois's ear canals are, right? Well her little nostrils are even smaller. And they both have dried snot plugs in them. It's a situation - as Auntie Gina would say.

Just to make things really interesting, Lois has reached this stage where she wants to feed herself. That fine motor pincer grip is working like a champ. But textured foods make her choke. Spit. Gag. Tear up. And I can't stand the drama. She'll suck the life out of a piece of watermelon from a baby safe feeder (a mesh bag on a stick), but if you give her a teeny tiny little piece of watermelon - she chokes. It's kind of sad. She wants to feed herself, but Gerber only makes so many dissolvable treats. And even those sometimes cause a scene.


So the current situation is this: Lois needs to eat more and gain weight. She's got a cold and won't drink her milk. She wants to feed herself and is refusing to eat from a spoon. So yesterday, my kid ate a little bit of milk and an entire container of Gerber cheesy poofs. She went to bed happy, and I went to bed with the beginnings of a bleeding ulcer. This being a Mom stuff is really hard sometimes.