History Repeats Itself?

So here we are - still in the hospital almost a week after Mac's birth. What the heck?!! When you give birth to a 3 pound baby 7 weeks prematurely, you don't really expect to leave the hospital with your kid. But when you carry a child to term and he comes out of the womb already able to support the weight of his own head (slight exaggeration - but only slight) you can't imagine any other scenario than a timely exit from the hospital. Mac had other plans - and no matter how diligently we worked to avoid it , he ended up in the "step down" nursery. That's a "step down" from the NICU. And that was enough to send Jay and I into fits of anger, disappointment - and in my case, sheer panic and hysteria.


As I write this, Mac is sound asleep in his plastic crib in my hospital room. He was released from the Nursery this morning after his bilirubin numbers dropped significantly overnight. It looks like we'll be going home tonight or tomorrow morning - unless his bilirubin numbers decide to rise again now that he is out from under the lights. So really the drama of the past few days has been much ado about nothing. But for two parents who already lived this scenario, the reality of Mac being "taken" from us and housed behind a closed door where we had to ring a bell to gain entry was almost too much to take.


Lois spent 6 weeks in the NICU and at the time I thought it was the hardest thing I'd ever had to endure. I was 45 minutes away from the hospital. I had to prove my identity to gain entrance to my daughter's crib. And several times I was ordered not to touch my baby. But looking back, those 6 weeks seem like just a blip on the radar screen in the course of Lois's 19 months. And to be totally honest, the indignities I felt I suffered while a hospital cared for my child instead of me are now dwarfed by the memories of the wonderful people who cared for Lois and helped us in our quest to bring her home. Lois had an amazing start to life thanks in large part to her talented, compassionate care givers.


HOWEVER - Jay and I were more than ready to try it the "other" way. We were ready to take Mac home on Friday when I was discharged. But jaundice reared it's ugly head and a strange reflux like condition earned Mac an upper GI and an apnea monitor. Friday night, Jay spent the night at our house in order to get up early and take Lois to her Daddy N' Me swim class (stay tuned for the upcoming blog post) and I was alone at the hospital with Mac. Keep in mind, on Friday Mac was circumcised, had numerous samples of blood taken from him, had to drink barium to have an upper GI test, had sensors attached to his chest with tape to which he is apparently allergic, and spent the day on a bili-bed - a strange crib with an internal blilight (see creepy picture above) where Mac was held captive for his entire day. That evening I woke up to feed him and Mac decided enough was enough. He had a total break with reality and screamed so hard he threw up several times. Although I called for reinforcements, Mac's nurse was seemingly unwilling to offer any assistance and I ended up with a cracker sans cheese.

But here we are waiting with baited breath to see if his bilirubin numbers will stay down so we can bust out of this joint and go home - when all of the scary, melodramatic happenings of the past week will be a distant memory. He's healthy, a good eater, has the standard set of 46 chromosomes, and is too big for his newborn diapers. And we couldn't be happier.


To answer the question that everyone seems to ask: Lois doesn't think much of her new baby brother at all. In fact, I think she's looking into my uterus's return policy. Basically she would prefer not to look at him and scrambles to get away from him if we bring him close to her. But when she thinks you aren't looking, she stares at him tirelessly. She's curious. Hopefully that curiosity will soon turn to interest which will turn to affection. But we'll give it a few months for that miracle to occur.


Thanks to all of you for your phone calls, emails, and facebook messages. We can feel the love from near and far and it means a great deal to us.