Excuses, Excuses......

I know. You've been checking the blog waiting for that update I promised you almost 2 weeks ago. You are faithful indeed, my friends. But I am one pathetic excuse for a blogger - especially one who titled her blog "The DAILY Lois." Jay picked the name. He's the one responsible for your incredibly high expectations which I have NO hope of living up to. I apologize. I could write a list of excuses like a loss of wifi in the hospital, missing camera cord, no new pictures - but these are indeed, just excuses. The real story is it takes me hours to write a blog post and in my free hours lately I have taken to lounging on my couch watching Bravo reality shows, playing Words with Friends on my ipod touch with my husband in the next room, and eating the chocolate cookies and cakes and brownies that you kind people keep sending me. (NOT a complaint. Keep them coming. I'll lose weight when Lois doesn't have cancer anymore.)

Does a blog post really need to take hours? Umm no. But for some reason, they do. Perhaps if I lived up to my blog's name and posted a simple update each night of the bean's condition, the daunting task of updating you on the last 2 weeks of our life wouldn't seem quite so.....well.....daunting. But that darn Orange County housewife reunion was just too good to miss.

But I'm here now, so can we just let bygones be bygones and move on?

Thank you.

My friends, my daughter is amazing. Truly amazing. She sailed through her 2 part infusion of high dose chemotherapy. She had no gastrointestinal trouble. No nausea. No fever. Nothing. Frankly, it was rather anticlimactic. I told you in my last post that my stomach was in knots wondering what this powerful dose of poison would do to her little body. Those fears were completely unfounded. Lois came home from part one with more energy that we've seen from her in her entire life. The Yaya was here that week and one particularly beautiful day we went shopping at an outdoor mall. Lois was riding in the front seat of the double stroller and pulling articles of clothing off of racks as we rolled through the store. She dismantled a display of sweaters while Yaya was tyring to get her antics under control. She ate more food than should be allowed for a child her age. I hate to say it, but she was a bit of a brat. Totally out of character for my girl but man oh man it was a beautiful thing to watch. She just didn't seem to get the memo that she was sick.

We returned to the hospital last Friday to start part two and found out her immune system had been dealt a major blow by the first infusion. It takes about a week for the maximum effect of the chemo drugs to show up in Lois's blood work. We knew it would take a hit, but her neutrophil count was low. Really low. I couldn't believe they were going to proceed with a second infusion. Dr. Hem and Haw seemed apologetic - she knew this could land Lois in the hospital again with another fever of undiagnosed origin. She told us to be prepared to be back in the hospital shortly after that weekend's infusion. But alas, the show must go on. So at 8pm that night, part 2 started rolling.

Once again, she sailed through her two day stay. I'm not mentioning the every four hour Armageddon involving eye drops that Lois had to have in order to prevent a nasty "chemical" pink eye. It wasn't pleasant. Over the weekend, her platelet count was bottoming out, so she ended up with large petechiae on both of her eyelids from the nurses prying her poor little eyes open. Reminds me of Johnny Depp in the second Pirates of the Caribbean movie - where he has eyes painted on his eyelids?

I digress...

Lois won't have to have those eye drops ever again because she won't ever have to have a dose of Ara-C that high again. Thankfully.

We returned to the clinic on Tuesday for a blood check. I'll spare you the numbers and percentages because I know it all sounds a bit like gibberish to you. But Lois's blood was recovering from the first infusion. Her neutrophil count was higher than expected which gave us a shred of hope that maybe she would get through the next week without the bottom totally dropping out of her immune system. Without any neutrophils, your body's only defense against a virus or bacteria of any kind is to turn up the heat. And the resulting fever would send Lois to the hospital. Dr. Hem and Haw - who I'm slowly beginning to become rather fond of and may be forced to stop using her moniker - was still convinced Lois would be returning to the hospital but admitted her test results were reason to hope.

It's Thursday evening and my little trooper is still going strong. Still perky. Still happy. Still making us laugh. No sign of a fever. No sign of slowing down.

Very early on in our journey with leukemia, someone advised us that the only way to get through Lois's treatment was to take one day at a time. At the time, I felt it was a rather cliche thing to say. But 6 weeks later, I understand it to be the absolute truth. Gospel. On Sunday we decided that every day this week that Lois didn't develop a fever would be a great day. And so far, we've had four great days. We're hoping for more of the same tomorrow. But alas, we'll have to cross that bridge when we come to it. (Speaking of cliches.....)

One of the things we've had to accept as part of this journey is that our lives are on hold for the next seven months. Making plans is an impossibility. It looked like we would not only be free the weekend of Lois's preschool's Parent Social , but Yaya would be here to babysit. We missed it because Lois was in the hospital. For Christmas, Jay bought the Yaya and I tickets to see "Wicked" which is here in Richmond for the next few weeks. It was the night before Lois went back to the hospital for part 2. But Lois was throwing up and sick that afternoon and I didn't feel like I could leave her. I missed it. Our family beach trip was scheduled for late July and we realized that Lois's last treatment will probably overlap the dates. We had to cancel. I have appointments I need to make for a mammogram, a colonoscopy, and a visit to the dentist. (I'd like to accomplish all of that in one day and call it "Tits, Teeth, and Ass Day." Yaya doesn't find that humorous. I do.) But all of that can, and will wait.

Maybe not the dentist. I feel like my teeth are wearing sweaters. They need to be cleaned.

So yes indeed, this is all a great big bummer. But none of it really matters when you consider the big picture. Getting Lois well and seeing her safely through all of this nasty business is priority number one. Everything else, including my TT&A day - can wait.



Ten years from now my dear son may wonder if we just stuffed him in a closet for 6 months. Poor boy gets nary a mention on the blog these days. I promise you that for every tear I've shed for my sweet girl, I've shed one for little Mac and how this whole situation is affecting him. He is only 9 months old, but obviously realizes when Mom and Dad suddenly disappear for a few days. Thank goodness for his Yaya who treats him like the Prince of Fat Boy Town while we are off keeping watch over Lois in the hospital. Our blissfully normal week with Lois has been blissfully normal for Mac, too. You'll probably think I'm over-analyzing this, but I swear to you he realizes when his world returns to normal -when he's at home in his house, sleeping in his crib, with his sister next door and his parents down the hall. He's sleeping well and eating well - not that the eating thing has ever really been a problem. It makes me happy.

Mac is officially about 2 pounds heavier than his sister, but an inch and a half shorter. When we're out walking the mall I lose count of the times I'm asked if they are twins. I wonder when people will stop assuming they are twins and start thinking Mac is Lois's big brother? Yaya and I took them to Stride Rite last week for some spring shoes. Lois measured at a 3 1/2 but we bought size 4's to accommodate her orthotics. Mac measured at a 6 double wide. Somewhere in the world Auntie Gina is snorting right now. She finds Mac's monstrous feet and the tiny little toes that peek off the ends of them to be quite humorous.

Mac is crawling and pulling up on anything that will hold his weight and a few things that won't. We're having a race to see which of our children will walk first. My money is on Lois right now - she took 4 unassisted steps between Jay and I this week. But if you're a regular blog reader, you'll realize in our world, that means nothing. I just like cheering for the underdog. My fat little man also has a head full of curls that Yaya thinks I need to have cut. But I'm afraid if I cut his hair, the curls will go away. And honestly, I don't relish the idea of trying to wrangle Mac during a hair cut. He is very strong, very insistent, and very motivated. I think we are in trouble.

My biggest concern about Mac right now is that I'll never be able to send him to kindergarten because he can't keep his hands off of his package. A diaper change for Mac is often a two person job. One to clean up, and the other to keep his hands away from the family jewels.

Dear Mac, this isn't the first time I've discussed your man parts on this blog. I can't seem to help myself. Forgive me? Love, Mom.

I've spent the past two days with a legal pad beside me jotting down people I need to thank. Even after 48 hours of thought, I'm sure I'm forgetting someone. If that person is you, please don't hate me and my aging, vacant brain.

Our dear friends the Walter's made a donation in Lois's honor to St. Baldrick's Foundation who ask willing volunteers to shave their heads to raise awareness for pediatric cancers. Evelyn also brought a dozen Krispy Kremes to the hospital one dreary Sunday morning. How bad can a day be when it starts with a Krispy Kreme? Megan brought cheesesteaks to the hospital one night and had some one on one time with Lois who wanted to show Megan where her nose was.

We got a package from Jordan - the country, not the person - with 2 beautiful pashmina scarves from dear Miss Kate. Oh how we miss our adventurous friend. A gift bag appeared on our doorstep full of diet coke and oreos from Miss Jenn. She knows us so well. This arrived at the hospital last weekend from the Krajewskis:

That fruit was the sweetest, most delicious fruit I'd ever had. We had a high frequency of nurse visits that night. Everyone wanted those strawberries. The parents of my best childhood friend sent Lois a little quilt and a big gift card. I spent a lot of time in their house as a child and I credit Mrs. Grubb with my crafty abilities. I still hang ornaments on my Christmas tree every year that I made in Girl Scouts with Mrs. Grubb. Such happy memories. Thanks Mr. and Mrs. Grubb.

We've had some fabulous meals in the past two weeks. We are so appreciative that you've taken the time to cook for us when you all have your own families to cook for. Thanks to Kathleen, Dana, Anita, Jamie Lynn, Kim, Jen, Megan, Beth, Stacy, and Sonja. I am so going to make that cookbook of recipes and share it with all of you. If you didn't send me a recipe, expect an email soon!

Thanks to Aunt Marpa who set us up with lunch both weekends we were in the hospital and who ordered a car seat for Mac to keep in her car just so she can help out when we need her. It's blue. Sporty blue. (Did I ever tell you the story of Mac's pink car seat?)

Thank you to Diane and Jenatha for the lovely card they sent Lois and for allowing me to shop at the consignment sale a bit early. If Lois can keep it together this weekend I am TOTALLY coming shopping again. (ringaroundtherosy.net - check it out!) My friends who are local should NOT miss this sale.

And finally to the Yaya and Pops who spent two weeks driving up and down the roads to help out while Lois was in the hospital. Mac is a handful and I think poor Yaya feels like she's been mauled by a bear by the time 8pm rolls around. Grab some BenGay and relax for a few weeks, Mom.

We're heading back to the clinic tomorrow for another blood check. The maximum effect of the second infusion is about to hit her and if we can make it through the weekend fever free, we should be all good until infusion #3. Send positive thoughts, won't you? Nice cool positive thoughts.

Thanks for being patient with a lackadaisical blogger......

xoxoxo