Making Deposits

We eagerly started using sign language with Lois about a year ago. We began with the sign for "more" which is not only easy for Lois's little hands to make, but it's easily reinforced throughout the day. We worked on it mostly at meal times. I grabbed Lois's hands and helped her make the sign for more before every bite of food. At every meal. For weeks. It was tiring, people. Keep in mind that when Andy was 9 or 10 months old, my sister was convinced he was headed for ruin because he wasn't using words yet. So I taught him the sign for more - in about 2 hours. And here I am working with Lois for weeks and she's showing no signs of understanding.

But one afternoon Jay picked her up and spun her around - and she looked at him and did the sign for more. Typical Lois. Not only did she use the sign appropriately, she used it in a totally different context than we had been using it. It's like she skipped one cognitive step ahead. Of course, from that day on Lois had this sign down cold - she uses it in a variety of contexts, but finds it most useful to ask for more whipped cream.

And we've now come to the end of our success stories with sign language.

For months and months, "more" was all she had. It was so frustrating for us because we knew the lights were on, and someone was home - but it was taking them a LONG time to get to the door. It was at this point in time that dear Miss Judy explained to me that I needed to think of it as making deposits in Lois's brain. She encouraged me to keep doing these signs regardless of the lack of response from Lois. "You keep making the deposits, and one day, you'll see the return. I promise."

Easy for you to say, Miss Judy.

After every meal we would ask Lois if she was finished. We'd grab her hands and help her make the sign. I would make the sign for "open" and make Lois open the wipes and wash her hands. We did this at every meal. Three times a day. For months.

And Lois never made either sign.

We worked on eat. We worked on drink. We worked on milk.

Nothing. It starts to get discouraging, my friends. And I have to admit, our use of signs had totally dwindled until 4 weeks ago. Until someone told us there might be something wrong with our child and we seemed to decide that we needed to prove that wasn't true.

So we started with "eat." Are you hungry Lois? We helped her make the sign for eat and then gave her some goldfish crackers. And what do you know? After about a week she started signing "eat" after I asked her if she was hungry - but only maybe half of the time. A little success? Interesting....

So we made up the sign for brother, and 24 hours later, she's using it appropriately. Holy cow?!!

Finished? The sign we had made Lois use after every meal for months and months? Last week I went through our usual routine and asked her if she was finished, and guess what? The little booger made the sign. With a huge smile on her face. She looked at both of us, and then proceeded to clap quite frenziedly for herself.

Within the next week she's doing "SO BIG!"with her arms. She's blowing kisses.

We are now hurriedly coming up with signs to teach her since she is learning them at such a frantic pace. We're signing Momma and Daddy, thank you, please, ball, book. We're in it to win it, people.

And then today - Miss Judy was here and was watching a standing Lois transfer from the sofa to the coffee table. That's another blog entry in itself, but it's important to have just the right motivator to get Lois to do such a "daredevil" task. (My kid is beyond timid when it comes to perceived risky behavior.) Today's motivator? A package of wipes. Totally random, but Lois decided they were fascinating this morning. She grabbed them from the couch, turned her body and slapped the wipes on the coffee table, looked at Miss Judy and made a definite gesture with her hands. There was a sudden intake of air from Miss Judy, me and Kate - who was sitting nearby. All three of us looked at each other wondering if we had just witnessed what we thought we did. Miss Judy slowly looked down at Lois and said, "Open?" And there it was. A perfectly signed "open." Judy screamed, Kate screamed, I screamed, and then Mac screamed because we scared the crap out of him.

It was a moment I will always remember - and I know to many of you that may sound totally stupid. But Miss Judy was right. I deposited the sign for "open" in her brain - and Lois decided today was the right day to bring it out and put it on display. I haven't used the sign for "open" with Lois in weeks - maybe months. But there it was.

Don't tell anyone, but I cried.

This is the magic of raising a child like Lois. I wish you all could know what moments like this feel like. When you wait so long for something and work so hard - it's arrival is just that much sweeter. It takes your breath away. I think both Miss Judy and Kate would agree.

The deposits continue - and we can't wait to see more returns.