It's Magic!

Today Lois saw her pediatrician for her 12 month check up. Although I knew she would have to get a couple of shots, I didn't dread the event because I knew I would get to see our dear Dr. Kraft who has quite quickly become my hero. On a scale of doctors where Dr. Dickhead is a zero and Dr. Meck is a 10, Dr. Kraft checks in at about a 9.5. She understands DS and seems to have just the right connections in the medical world here in Richmond. We discussed my problems with Early Intervention here in Richmond and she didn't' hesitate to get on the phone and get that all straightened out. Love this woman. So when Lois has to visit the doctor, I take along a list of questions that need answering, and problems that need solutions - and Dr. Kraft makes it all alright.


Remember my concern about Lois not gaining enough weight? Apparently my expectations are just a tad unrealistic. She's in the 75th percentile for her weight and the 25th percentile for her height. That's on the DS growth chart. On the regular growth chart, she's in the 10th percentile for both. For a girl that started where my girl did, that is remarkable. Nice to know I don't have to force feed her twinkies anymore. We made the switch to whole milk a week or so ago, so now I'm left wondering how much of that I need to try to get into her each day. The answer was shocking. Let's just say I was about 14oz. off. SHEESH! Isn't there a manual or something I could have? I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing - and Lois is thriving not because of me, but in spite of me. So it's on to grilled cheese and yogurt, I guess.


Actually, when I was cleaning out my drawers yesterday I found a manual of sorts. Someone had purchased for me the "What to Expect the First Year" book and I had decided when Lois was born that I wasn't going to read a single page. I didn't' figure it would be fair to either of us to have unrealistic expectations. My girl is doing things at her own pace, and it's taken me a year to figure that out. I used to fret and worry and perseverate over each developmental milestone. Grasping objects, rolling over, sitting up, laughing. She's done them all - on her own schedule which usually doesn't jive with mine. I do what I can to help her, but the rest is up to her. And so far, she's making us very proud. Just today she crawled - with LOTS OF HELP - to her Momma. What a champ.

As most of you know, we were unaware that Lois had Down Syndrome on the day that she was born. We knew there was a 1 in 3 chance that she would, but she showed not one single soft marker for DS. As far as we knew, she just had a very fat neck. But the evening that she was born, when Jay went to cut the cord, a lovely neonatologist said to him, "She has Down Syndrome, but isn't she beautiful." I'd love to know what went through Jay's mind when he heard those words. He quickly came back to my side, knelt beside me and whispered the news in my ear. I'll tell you exactly what I thought. I stared up at the ceiling and wondered if Maggie would take care of her when we are dead. And then I got a warm feeling inside when I realized the world's best special ed. teacher and my good friend Kelley would be her teacher someday. At this point, Jay's attention was drawn to my uterus which was apparently being cleaned up while sitting outside of my body on my stomach. That would definitely be an attention grabber, don't you think? He told me it was there. I asked him what it looked like. He said, "It kinda looks like haggis." The doctors in the room all cracked up.


And there you have it. That's exactly how Jay and I handled the news that our daughter had an extra chromosome. No - we weren't in denial, but thanks for asking. We had 8 months to come to grips with the possibility, and what we came to realize was - we just didn't care if she had Down Syndrome. What did it matter? She was precious, amazing, and full of potential. She probably won't make her Daddy proud and go to UVA, but there are a million other ways she will make him proud. Ways we've never even dreamed of.


And that's what is so cool about being Lois's parent. I bet your children just naturally one day started picking up toys and placing them inside containers. Right? Well, not the baby girl.. That was a big complicated skill for her. We easily got "taking things out". And "dumping" the container? Well, Dr. Destructo had a good handle on that. But putting things "in?" For weeks her early intervention teacher has been working with her on it. Every day I sit in the floor with her and work on it. Look Lois, "IN!" Can you put them "IN?" And what happened this weekend? While I was upstairs (of course) she and her Daddy were playing with the cookie jar and who puts ALL of the shapes IN the jar by herself? She's so good at it, today with her teacher she put her socks and few spoons in there, too. So this tiny little developmental milestone that probably passed you by without notice was cause for a huge celebration at our house. And if you could just see the look of pride on Lois's face when we cheer. She knows. She did it. It's pretty awesome.


So you get the picture? You're the ones I feel sorry for. You with your generic, run of the mill kids who are perfectly able to keep their tongues inside their mouths at all times. All the magic is in that 47th chromosome, you see. So that's why there were no tears in the delivery room that day. I think we had some idea of what was in store for us as Lois's parents. And we were ready for the magic.