Pride and Joy

I've been dreading it for weeks, but preschool time has officially arrived. On Tuesday of next week, I will drop Lois off for her first foray into the real world.


Am I being melodramatic?

Really?

Because I feel like I'm trying to tone it down. I am so emotional over this transition that I have a tendency to burst into tears by just looking at Lois. It just feels like the most momentous thing that has ever happened in Lois's little life. Maybe not. Maybe it just feels that way because she's doing this without me. And maybe that's why I'm having such a hard time with it.

A lot of things have been happening behind the scenes in order to prepare for Tuesday. Several weeks ago I spent over an hour on the phone with Lois's new teacher (Miss Rosie) telling her all about my quirky little girl. Before you ask, this was Miss Rosie's idea - NOT mine. Miss Rosie came and visited us at home and met Lois and Miss Judy and even Miss Kate. Who is Miss Kate, you ask? Well......

Remember that Lois qualified for an EDCD Waiver? One of the parts of this waiver program is respite care - meaning the waiver pays for someone to watch Lois for Jay and I from time to time. The thinking behind this is (a) it's difficult being the parents of a child with special needs and you need to get away and (b) you can't leave your kid with just any babysitter off the street because your kid has...you guessed it....special needs. If I were ungrateful to receive this particular benefit, I might argue that being Lois's parents isn't anymore difficult than being Mac's parents and that I would trust Lois with the same group of people that I would trust to watch Mac. But I'm not - and therefore, I won't.

Ok. I did. But pretend I didn't.

So when I needed to find a respite care worker, my friend, fellow blogger, and fellow parent to a chromosomally enhanced child - Beth - suggested her daughter might be willing and able. That would be her oldest daughter, Kate. Kate is a college graduate and is headed to the Peace Corps in October and just celebrated her 21st birthday. I've mentioned Miss Kate several times here on the blog (you might remember Kate being involved in the screaming when Lois signed "open") without much explanation of who she is. Now you know.

So Miss Rosie and Kate and Miss Judy and I all met one morning to talk about Lois and her transition to school. You'll remember from my previous posts that I have been worried about this transition for some time. Lois doesn't really like her peers. (Are you picturing her scooting away from George?) I have been so worried that she would be overwhelmed with the whole situation and just sit and scream for her Momma. So worried that I was going to prepay her tuition for the entire year and decided not to. So worried that I lie awake at night. So worried that when I imagine Tuesday morning, I want to eat 4 dozen chocolate chip cookies at one sitting.

But enter Kate - my hero - who has agreed to rearrange her Starbucks schedule in order to attend preschool with Lois.

Now don't get all "that's a terrible idea, Catherine" on me. I couldn't agree more. It would be a terrible idea to have Kate sitting beside Lois facilitating her every move.. But that isn't what I want Kate to do. I want her to observe from across the way. And if Lois melts down, I want Kate to intervene.

Still don't think it's a good idea?

I don't care. She's my kid. So there.

So Thursday night Jay and I went to the church for the parent information session. I sat in my church pew and cried. Am I alone here, people? This is a big deal, right? After a talk about policies and procedures, we went to Miss Rosie's classroom for more information about what Lois will be doing day to day. Jay and I were the last parents to leave. Not just the last parents to leave Miss Rosie's room, but the last parents to leave the event. But I HAD to let Miss Rosie know that Lois might freak out when she tries to change her diaper on a surface that Lois deems slightly unstable. This is vital information to Lois's success on Tuesday!

You're probably thinking what Jay was thinking.

Friday morning we returned to the school with Lois for an official meet and greet - kids, teachers, and parents. I dreaded it. I knew she would cry and scream to be with Momma. I knew if another child even LOOKED at her she would dissolve.

But guess what?

There was no crying. No screaming.

She played with Miss Myrna, the assistant teacher.


She put clothespins in a milk jug, impressing Miss Rosie with her fine motor abilities.


She crawled to the top of the cushions in the corner and surveyed her kingdom.


Even as more kids arrived.


And more kids arrived.

And some adults arrived.


She even sat at the table with her new friend Stella.


My heart was so full of joy and pride, I thought it would explode. I just couldn't help thinking that of all the children walking around that room, mine was the most perfect.

And then a woman approached me with a dour look on her face. (Or perhaps that just how I'm choosing to remember her.) She said...

"Is that your child?"

With a grin a mile wide, I said, "YES!"

With no grin whatsoever she said, "What days is she going to be here?"

"Tuesdays and Thursdays."

She said nothing and walked out of the room.

My friends, I don't look for the stares. I know they are there, but I choose not to see them. And when I do see someone staring, I always assume it's because Lois is so darn cute. I didn't want to believe that what that woman had just said to me meant what I thought it did.

As we were leaving, I asked Jay if he heard it. He had. Jay is the most nonjudgmental person I know. He ALWAYS gives people the benefit of the doubt. But he interpreted what she said the same way I had.

That woman doesn't want her child in a class with Lois.

*gulp

I don't even know what to say about it.

I feel sorry for that woman. Don't you?