They said it couldn't be done....

We managed to do the impossible, my friends. We sold our house in less than a week. Not only did we sell it, but we're going to end up making a (small) profit on it. I thought for sure this would drag on for months. It seemed like every day, Jay would arrive home from his commute with some new horrible story he heard on NPR regarding the real estate market. He had me convinced that our house would never sell, we'd never qualify for a new mortgage, and we'd be forced to wear tissue boxes for shoes. Ok. That's me adding a dramatic spin to his doomsday forecasting. But we figured we were in the basement for the long haul.

But alas! Someone obviously liked my taste in colors, at last. The first offer they made to us indicated that they not only wanted the house, they also wanted Jay's plasma TV, his surround sound speakers, and the custom made (by me) drapes from every room in the house. At first Jay seemed willing to part with his plasma, but I told our agent there was no way I was leaving behind those curtains. That little pronouncement didn't sit well with most of the family. How silly to jeopardize a deal this big over curtains, they said. But see, those curtains are more than just curtains. They are a part of that house that can come with me. I can't take the brick with the heart on it. I can't take the room that we spent months remodeling for Lois. I can't take my beloved Forrest who is buried in the back yard. But darn it all, I sure as heck am gonna take my drapes. So back off, you vultures!

Seriously. Isn't it kind of creepy to make an offer to buy someone's house and include some of their possessions in the offer? Frankly, I felt violated. It's like they were rifling through my underwear drawer.

We made a counter offer that did not include the TV, speakers, or the drapes. And what do you know? They accepted. But they still wanted Jay's speakers, so he let them go. We're making enough profit to replace them, should we feel so inclined. Something tells me we (and when I say we, I mean Jay) will be so inclined.

My good friend W went to our house two weeks ago and planted a statue of St. Joseph in our yard. She's a good Catholic, and I firmly believe her thoughtful gesture is what precipitated our speedy sale. For those of you who don't know this little bit of urban folklore, here's an explanation from our friends at wikipedia:

Burying a small statue of Saint Joseph on a piece of real estate for sale is reputed to enlist the saint's assistance in finding a buyer. Some versions require the statue to be buried upside down. Some believe that the saint's statue should be disinterred once the house sells, to avoid the property repeatedly changing hands; others leave the buried statue in hopes that Saint Joseph will continue to protect the property.

W and her husband just did a drive by, dug a hole, plopped in a St. Joseph statue, and off they went. And three days later, guess what happens? I need to write a testimonial for one of these cheesy websites: Cheese-ola! I talked with W today, and she's going to head back over there and dig him up. The legend says you're supposed to dig him up and put him on your mantle. I'm not messing with this divine Catholic miracle, so ole' St. Joe is coming with us to our new house. That's for sure.

I had a good cry when the deal was done and the paperwork signed. Why cry at such a wellspring of good fortune? Because now we can't go back. It's not like I was planning to have Jay quit his job and rush us all back to the 'burg. But I felt good knowing I could drive down there anytime I wanted and have a place to stay. Now I'll be left to rely on the good graces of my Christiansburg friends. If that's the case, something tells me I'll always have a place to stay.

We'll be in town the weekend of August 2 and 3 to pack up our stuff and move it to a storage unit. Free beer and lunch for anyone who can get Jay's mammoth TV out of the spare bedroom and back down the stairs without breaking it, dropping it, or herniating a disc. Seriously, we'd love to see you that weekend if you have the time. We promise not to force you to carry boxes. Just plan to stop by and say hi, won't you?

A and N - clear your schedules. We're going to need our boys to help us!